Yeah, really. For right now, anyway. I've always sort of looked forward to another dimension of sorts, as opposed to merely plugging away at textbooks for two straight weeks before exams and then wasting the rest of the year in pseudo-mugger state, attending lectures, playing a little, studying in bits and pieces "consistency is key", basically just waiting for exams to come, and then praying for them to be over.
My one regret would be never ever stepping out of my comfort zone. Life, materially speaking, has always been smooth-sailing and comfortable. Emotionally, I'd say I had plenty of support all through. But this sort of sterile existence leaves me feeling empty in spots. Put very ineloquently, sort of like the well of adversity and diversity from which I'm supposed to draw strength and perspective from is running rather dry right now, and I'm craving for life to have a few more facets, a little more danger, a little more adventure, if only to feel as though I'm living life and not merely cruising through it. If one is on cruise control, is one really in control or being controlled? I think I would feel so much more in control if I had to choose between good and bad, and one thing or the other, as opposed to never having to wrack my moral consciousness ever because life is simply so clean. So shiny and perfect. I'd like to be tested, just to see exactly what stuff I'm made of.
But, I probably am speaking too soon. I've hardly seen anything of real life yet. And maybe when I do, I'd be wishing life to be simple and free from all the complications that make good things seem bad and bad things so tempting. And I'd pray for everything to be clear again.
Perhaps my new venture will be an exponential curve. It starts off painfully slowly, and before you know it, you're thrown in the deep end and left to tread your way till your limbs go numb.
I say bring it on. I'm raring to leave this state of ennui.