Your last name stays put. You can be president. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO T-shirt to a water park. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental -- $100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood -- all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. Your underwear is $8.95 for three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. Everything on your face stays its original colour. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck. Your belly usually hides your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes one colour for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket-knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing moustache.